In the last month I’ve:
Almost broken up with my (main) boyfriend.
Repeatedly blown off a really smart dude I met at a party.
Had one guy who’s into me drop me off at another guy’s house so I could bone.
Broken up with my sext partner.
Gone on a major road trip with a very wonderful young man I’m also very not into, yet I cuddled with, and kissed him, and hid my true feelings.
Met… and made out with… hard… an extremely interesting man… in the back seat of a car while the aforementioned young man drove.
Commenced into an… intimate? and very long distance… relationship? with aforementioned interesting man.
Begun restructuring my entire life plan around joining the circus with interesting man.
Tonight alone I’ve:
Come to textual blows with a creep from the bar, of whom the surly bar maid said, “How do you know the creep from the bar?” over the fact that I haven’t actually been in town, and apparently said, “Next week” four times, even though it was “clear I was attracted to him” and that I should just “fuck him already” yet I’m the ass (and I kind of am for stringing him along…) but, come on.
Had the, “Sorry I’m not going to date you” talk with someone who’s intriguing enough, but who’s undatable in some circles and known as, “Crotch hip” for particular reasons, but I may have kissed him a couple weeks ago anyway.
What it all adds up to is me being awake after a long shift at work, thinking far too deeply about my methods and behavior, while also growing wary of my seemingly healthy relationships considering I might be a manipulative whore, and “nice guys” can go from, “How was your trip” to “Fuck you” in less than two hours.